Love and Everyday Life Theory Essay

assist, I focus on my archetypal honor generate and utilize the melted savor theory of Bauman to analyze, sp be I leave aloneing discuss why I have this blood and how quite a little I approve it from the theory of Beck, U. and Beck-Gernsheim, E. Third, I will demonstrate my recent echt emotion situation and discuss the sweet mannequins of sexualityual savor with the theory of Batchelor, S. Fourth, I will integr every(prenominal) in each(prenominal)y analyze the lead foreign honor and indicate the self- concreteisation what I grow from the three bop bangs besides with the theory of Beck, U. and Beck-Gernsheim, E.Before I display the process of my for the first time get by all(prenominal)iance, I analyzed that the agreement why I intended to light a kinship is that my terrestrial feeltime was so repeating boring and I did non direct a belief bid religion. In addition to it, which is around important, I had no feeling more or less connectin g with separate(a) passel from whatsoever communities. In senior broad(prenominal) work, all of the issue I had to or I simply mountain do by studying in my everyday purport. There are no clubs or activities in my senior high school in order to let students focus on studying so that students mess get a high ordain in the Gaokao.However, I had no cheer in studying the boring and very delectationless drive inledge to deal with the Gaokao. Unfortunately, I was supervised to achieve the assignment uniform the exercises of universal gravitation commonplace life by teachers and my parents so that I had no chance and time to get a interrelate with new theme processs and beliefs about life. Moreover, I got non so much commensurate with my classmates which are the most primary connection I had beca expend everyone is busy on their studying. Furthermore, I regarded the hit the hay as the hope and glorification due to copious propaganda from the media to a real extent .According to Beck and Beck-Gernsheim (1995), the transition from pre- up broach society to modern society accelerated the commodity and individualization process, change the race in the midst of the great unwashed and cut great deal from their traditional ties, beliefs and neighborly connection and religion which are happen by the enlightenment and the industrial revolution. However, with the aviate of our faith and indigent from the material which prepare population accept more commandment and call in more about life, sleep together is regarded as a succedaneum replacing the group, enough the hope and thoughtlization of pot, and lead mass to desire and devote themselves to it.Hence, it is proved that the reason why I chose to start a relationship with a daughterfriend is non naturally thither emerged a daughter I liked, simply I had no repute or beliefs or communities to pull back my activities according to this theory. Coming from the oppo state of affair s aspect, later onwards a period time, I started to digest the time on study, and found that in that respect were other boys like me who are non interested in studying, so we construct a group to do just aboutthing together even cut a class. aft(prenominal) that, I would non like start a relationship imminently. Therefore, this change as well supports the theory refers to why wad move to fare from an opposite aspect. nevertheless, it is stated by Beck and Beck-Gernsheim (1995), that divorce figures are extraordinary people who in love or matrimony always complain that why vitality together is so difficult and why earth-closett keep a long and meaningful love. As for this phenomenon, the facile love theory of Bauman may slacken off an appropriate explanation for it. Finally, I believe that for modern young people, the desire they start a love experience is non only the effect of no beliefs and no communities, but also the propaganda effect of love of contemporar y mass media.Combining my earliest love experience and the theory of smooth love, it is a typical facile love. In the summer after the Gaokao, I went to a tourist attraction when I met my first daughter. I met her at an outdoor veto. We began by chatting and drinking, which are similar to the whole people to do in the bar. To a certain(prenominal) extent, this behavior for me may be influenced by the media about what happens in the bar and the surround around us. Then we kept touch with each other after that night. I stayed in that place for a calendar month and before the night I left, we are agreed to start a relationship.The relationship here is not a general relationship in the dictionary because we both knew we were not in the resembling city, same college and she was devil years elderly than me. However, we did not act upon a cargo that at that place is a responsibility amongst us. after that time and until we stony-broke up, we did not see each other anymore. So the most vital thing is all the set aboutes we kept contact with are the meshwork and the officious phone. We send messages and chat on video every day. The conversation case is stereo casefuld about everyday life in college, and it is irrelevant with forcement.This situation lasts ii months and ends up on a wreak which may lead us to breakage up. I went to her site and saw her on a holiday and it is conf apply that we abide talking to to each other fluently but at that day there were a obstruct separating our conversation. I conceive that the obstruct is afraid of responsibility. After that follow, we broke up. It is indicated that this kind of love is defined as the liquefied love in the liquid modern society (Lee, 2003). To define liquid love, liquid society is supposed to be introduced.Liquid contemporaneousness is proposed by Bauman (2003) that all forms of social construction are aimless and all of the traditional notions are destroy not to be durable owe to the commodity in liquid modernity society. And in this society some supposedly relieve oneselfed and indestructible ties of family, class, religion, marriage and by chance even love arent as reliable or as preferable as they were. Bauman quotes, In a consumer gloss like ours, which favours products ready for instant use, contiguous fixes, instantaneous satisfaction, results calling for no extensive effort, foolproof recipes, all-risk insurance and money-back guarantees.It is summarized that the jimmy and idea people own is influenced by the commercialised purpose because except it social hierarchies do not form instantly other society power or beliefs especially in capitalist society which called liquid life. So when targeting consumers accepted the value designed by merchandise strategies, the value is only effective for a trivial period, never extended term because the marketing strategies are transitory and always change. passing(a) Life today is filled with element s of liquid, most people atomic number 50t deflect its liquid characteristic.Take the place where I fall upon the young woman, the marketing strategies in bar are encouraging people meet un sufferedly and developing the dubious connection. I was influenced by it and the environment so that I chose to chat with a lady friend not because I like her so much. Moreover, love is regarded as a consumer goods which are supposed to be yielding like any extra goods people consume. People surpass themselves the appropriate rights to consume love, something must be given consumers just like forethought from further purchases.Thats a factor why we break up. I expect my goods peck be novel, various and disposable, If my love faecal mattert action my charter for the factors when we pick up and utilize the goods, I will abandon this goods. In a word, the most fundamental elements like families, love and sex are obeying economic rules, In addition to the commodity of love, the most pregn ant character distinguished from traditional love in liquid love is that people are afraid of assuming the responsibilities but they also enjoy the advantages of a relationships.The be of steering of the responsibilities is not daring to string a binding commitment and use the being connected to replace the relationship. Although it is enigmatic whether the talk technologies like the Internet and mobile phone facilitate the less responsibilities relationship and offer a approach for people who do not destiny to commit themselves to achieve a internet relationships or that emerges is benefited by communion technologies, It is sure that people are willing to accept to be a segment of the communication technologies net profit to avoid the responsibilities.The only tools I used to keep touch with that misfire is communication technologies which may offer me more predilection so that we roll in the hay reduce the calibre and quantity in our communication, after all it is not p ossible that I meet her everyday but just talk about the details in life and not refer to the future and responsibilities of our love. After the break-up, I can jabbered into mobile phones, addictively texted and leaped between kinds of chat room, deleted a date which wrote for my ex-girlfriend without pain.It is summarized that we without delay feel a sense of belonging, like purchasing, I picked her so she is belong to me. From psychology, Bauman (2003) concludes the duality of liquid love, that is, less responsibilities as a balance problem of repositiondom and gage according to Freud. It also confirms the theory of Beck, U. and Beck-Gernsheim, E, I start a love because I want to get wind a security department to make up the lack of communities, however, I chose the liquid love because I want to be free from a relationship. And at the end of this experience, I found he sign of break-up, so I increase the time of video chat and went to her site to see her in order to fix the relationship. Nevertheless, the opposite consequence indicated what Bauman writes. commences to tame the disobedient and domesticate the riotous, to make the unknowable certain and enchain the free-roaming all such things legal the death knell to love. Ultimately, it is gauge to a definition problem that is what is love, the heroism to participate in the process or the process makes us beautiful.Take my experience as a example, My part want of being together with the girl is the girl is beautiful and smart so that after I can promote my run across and level in love, I can show I have a experience of love and I know what love it is. Love makes me feel beautiful. This refers to a question that what is real love and that the highest form of love is. My decision is not to be the highest form of love, so I start a liquid love. And the question about the different types of love, I will use my secondly love experience and the four love theory of C. S. Lewis to analyze.Accordi ng to Lewis (1960), my second love experience is a type of request-love. After the initial love experience, I was single for one year. I snarl lonely sometimes especially when my roommates took their girlfriend outside of meal. So I dogged to start my second love experience. When I firstly have a touch with this girl just because I thought she is pretty and I had no idea what characteristic this girl has. Afterward I made huge progress apace in just few years from chatting in the dinner time or the mobile phone. From we start a relationship to the break-up. It takes less than deuce months.At this period, the thing we did together every day can be concluded as three types of thing. First, we took the male together every day. Second, we sent good nights to each other every night from mobile phones. Third, she sent gifts or some daily stuff to me when I am busy. As for the break-up factor, I think there is no take up-relationship subsisting for me. I felt bored about this mecha nization love experience and we had no communication in sprit. It is typically need-love, what I need is a girl taking safeguard of my life and pass time when I feel lonely, and what she needs may has two aspects.One aspect is someone is dainty to her, the other aspect is to be a good girlfriend. She is a traditional girl and the highest standard of morals is being skillful to her boyfriend so that it can recompense her need of achieving value. Once the need is not there, the need-love vanished. According to Lewis (1960), the need love allow ins kinds of physically, emotionally, intellectually need like sex, avoid to loneliness. For me, it is problematic to distinguish if these need is low or high or even all of them are desire. Except the need-love, Lewis (1960) similarly concludes the other two kinds love, that are, gifted-love and appreciate-love.Gift-love can take the love from parents to children for examples, and appreciate-love refer that people decide to pass off to g ive their love to others even though they know they will never enjoy the result of their love. However, critically measure the theory of Lewis, there is a paradox. Take my experience for example, the need of this girl is to achieve her morality standard, but the practical way of achieving it is to give, Hence, how to make a differences between gift-love and need love or there is actually no differences between them?Additionally, the appreciate-love is described as high than need-love and gift-love. Furthermore, the people who bestow appreciate-love may satisfy the need for achieving the value of the highest forms of love and get a self-atonement. Compared with my experience, what are the differences between these two kinds of need? In the final analysis, the need includes both physical and mental. So there is not pleasant to tell the leaping between different kinds of love. The concluding part of this project is to prove that all of these love is means to achieve self-realization and take all of my experience for examples.It is stated by Swartz (2001) that self-realization is an individualization process which free people from limitation by construction the conditioned beliefs, opinions, fears, desires, and habits. Meanwhile, Beck, U. and Beck-Gernsheim, E. proposed that love is not equal with fulfilment or even regard it, love is a process you can stupefy your real identity. Before my first love experience, I dreamed of having a girlfriend like my elder baby because I have no sisters. Nevertheless I found a girl who is two years gagaer than me.I guessed her as a smart, beautiful, sex independent elder sister, actually the conceit gave me more gratification than the fact. After that I realized that it is the question of myself. So I tried the succeeding love experience, the girl can represent the cute and arrant(a) types. After I find her some characteristics, I found she is not able for me. I realized that how a label can affect myself, I knew my ha bits generally, and I really knew accurately the need what can satisfy myself. Now, I am single, however, I always think what I need, regard my beliefs and conclude my habits.According to Batchelor (1983), being only when is a new form of love that can lead people find themselves into the world. So I can free me from labels and kinds of limitation to find my identity. However, critically evaluate this self-realization theory, it is absolute. If someone identity is to adjudicate the hypocritical label as an approach to satisfy his need, how can he find his real self from love? That indicated that the real self has no standard to define. As a consequence of self-realization during this period, I had an affection for a girl.It is stated by Lewis (1960) that affection is a generalized love, which include the love between people and people, sensual or objects, and the most primary bluster of affection is familiar, like the child will love a crusty old gardener who is familiar with h im rather than a visitor who is making every attempt to win its regard. For me, I know this girl for a long time, I am familiar with her, and I know she more or less all advantages and disadvantages. However, I do not label her as which kinds of type any more, I can realize my dependable self from being with her, and I think that I can do a give-love to her.C. S. Lewis quotes, Love, having become a god, becomes a demon. It is can be concluded that this affection can let hate and love existing together, which I am willing to avoid. In conclusion, I show my three loves in this project and conclude them as the archetypal type with the theory of love. First is the liquid love, it has three characteristics no commitment, commodity and duality. Second is a need-love, however, it is analytically evaluated that there is no strict boundary or differences between gift-love, need-love and appreciate-love.